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Life

Nov 11
Love0

No, just a regular mistake

By My world 2 Comments

watches2

Kif, I have mated with a woman. Inform the men. Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated poopers. Hello, little man. I will destroy you! OK, this has gotta stop. I’m going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can.

Hello, little man

Oh yeah, good luck with that. No, just a regular mistake. I love you, buddy! Say what? You wouldn’t. Ask anyway! It’s just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you?

Nov 02
Love0

This is fun

By My world One Comment

I’m partial to air conditioning. I love Halloween. The one time of year when everyone wears a mask … not just me. Watching ice melt. This is fun. I’m really more an apartment person. Makes me a … scientist. Pretend. You pretend the feelings are there, for the world, for the people around you. Who knows? Maybe one day they will be. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister.

Good news

I’m really more an apartment person. You’re a killer. I catch killers. I’m not the monster he wants me to be. So I’m neither man nor beast. I’m something new entirely. With my own set of rules. I’m Dexter. Boo. Tonight’s the night. And it’s going to happen again and again. It has to happen. I’m really more an apartment person. I’m partial to air conditioning. I’m Dexter, and I’m not sure what I am. I’m generally confused most of the time.

Nov 02
Love0

I’m going to remind

By Life 4 Comments

Why did you bring us here? This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me! I’m just glad my fat, ugly mama isn’t alive to see this day. I had more, but you go ahead. Goodbye, friends. I never thought I’d die like this. But I always really hoped. Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You’d think it would be something you’d have to freebase. You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from intestinal parasites? You’ll have all the Slurm you can drink when you’re partying with Slurms McKenzie!

OK, this has gotta stop. I’m going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can. Bite my shiny metal ass. You know, I was God once. I just told you! You’ve killed me! No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don’t own! Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools. Hey, tell me something. You’ve got all this money. How come you always dress like you’re doing your laundry? I suppose I could part with ‘one’ and still be feared…

I’m sorry, guys

Son, as your lawyer, I declare y’all are in a 12-piece bucket o’ trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin’ up that ol’ mess you caused. You’re going to do his laundry?

Ago 05
Love0

Shut up and take my money

By My world One Comment

Dissect its brain!

That’s right, baby. I ain’t your loverboy Flexo, the guy you love so much. You even love anyone pretending to be him! Doomsday device? Ah, now the ball’s in Farnsworth’s court! You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work, but they don’t pay you or let you go. I don’t want to be rescued. Who am I making this out to? OK, if everyone’s finished being stupid. One hundred dollars.

For the last time, I don’t like lilacs! Your ‘first’ wife was the one who liked lilacs! And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don’t not do it! Five hours? Aw, man! Couldn’t you just get me the death penalty? I’m a thing. Bender, we’re trying our best. Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase «upside your head.»

You can crush me but you can’t crush my spirit! Shut up and take my money! No, just a regular mistake. Well, let’s just dump it in the sewer and say we delivered it. Bender, we’re trying our best.

Ago 01
Love0

Keep your mind

By Compliment, My world No Comments

We are more

Pretend. You pretend the feelings are there, for the world, for the people around you. Who knows? Maybe one day they will be. I’m going to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone before. Tonight’s the night. And it’s going to happen again and again. It has to happen. Hello, Dexter Morgan. I’m not the monster he wants me to be. So I’m neither man nor beast. I’m something new entirely. With my own set of rules. I’m Dexter. Boo. I’m doing mental jumping jacks. I’m going to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone before.

Under normal circumstances, I’d take that as a compliment. Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter. You look…perfect. Watching ice melt. This is fun. Tell him time is of the essence. I’ve lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see. Only you could make those words cute. God created pudding, and then he rested. Watching ice melt. This is fun.

You all right, Dexter? You’re a killer. I catch killers. Makes me a … scientist. I’m partial to air conditioning.

I’m really more an apartment person. Keep your mind limber. I feel like a jigsaw puzzle missing a piece. And I’m not even sure what the picture should be. I’m Dexter, and I’m not sure what I am. I’m going to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone before.

Ago 01
Love0

Tonight’s the night

By Life, My world 2 Comments

bottles3

Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others. I like seafood. I’m really more an apartment person. I’m generally confused most of the time. I’m Dexter, and I’m not sure what I am. I’m going to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone before. Under normal circumstances, I’d take that as a compliment. Tell him time is of the essence. I’m doing mental jumping jacks. I am not a killer.

I never loved you

You all right, Dexter? Tell him time is of the essence. Tonight’s the night. And it’s going to happen again and again. It has to happen. Watching ice melt. This is fun.

Mar 01
Love0

I feel like a jigsaw

By Something 2 Comments

dchair1

I’m really more an apartment person. Finding a needle in a haystack isn’t hard when every straw is computerized. You all right, Dexter? I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I feel like a jigsaw puzzle missing a piece. And I’m not even sure what the picture should be. I feel like a jigsaw puzzle missing a piece. And I’m not even sure what the picture should be. Pretend. You pretend the feelings are there, for the world, for the people around you. Who knows? Maybe one day they will be.

dchair3I’m really more an apartment person. Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others. I love Halloween. The one time of year when everyone wears a mask … not just me. I’ve lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see. Cops, another community I’m not part of. Like a sloth. I can do that. Under normal circumstances, I’d take that as a compliment. Makes me a … scientist. I’m real proud of you for coming, bro. I know you hate funerals.

I’m thinking two circus clowns dancing. You? I’m really more an apartment person. Pretend. You pretend the feelings are there, for the world, for the people around you. Who knows? Maybe one day they will be. He taught me a code. To survive. I think he’s got a crush on you, Dex! I’ve lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see. Tonight’s the night. And it’s going to happen again and again. It has to happen.

Ene 30
Love0

Doomsday Devices

By Life, Projects 3 Comments

There’s one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain! Stop it, stop it. It’s fine. I will ‘destroy’ you! Why yes! Thanks for noticing. No, just a regular mistake. These old Doomsday Devices are dangerously unstable. I’ll rest easier not knowing where they are. I’ve been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope? Large bet on myself in round one.

They make you

Is that a cooking show? I love you, buddy! So, how ‘bout them Knicks? Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood! Guess again. All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that’s why I’m transferring to business school!

Ene 01
Love0

Oh, how awful

By My world 2 Comments

Okay, it’s 500 dollars, you have no choice of carrier, the battery can’t hold the charge and the reception isn’t very… Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as «the brig». And yet you haven’t said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you? And I’m his friend Jesus. Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? …To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? …To shreds, you say. Tell her you just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. I found what I need. And it’s not friends, it’s things. For example, if you killed your grandfather, you’d cease to exist! I feel like I was mauled by Jesus.