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Actually, that’s still true

By Life 3 Comments

Really?! The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep. Michelle, I don’t regret this, but I both rue and lament it. Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools. Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools. WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT! So, how ‘bout them Knicks? Actually, that’s still true. Oh Leela! You’re the only person I could turn to; you’re the only person who ever loved me.

Her company

Man, I’m sore all over. I feel like I just went ten rounds with mighty Thor. Kids have names? And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don’t not do it! I’m sorry, guys. I never meant to hurt you. Just to destroy everything you ever believed in. I suppose I could part with ‘one’ and still be feared… Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase «upside your head.»

Michelle, I don’t regret

By Author, Life 2 Comments

Michelle, I don’t regret this, but I both rue and lament it. All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that’s why I’m transferring to business school! This opera’s as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can’t just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry!

With gusto

And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who’s gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet. Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You’d think it would be something you’d have to freebase.

Oh, how awful

By My world 2 Comments

Okay, it’s 500 dollars, you have no choice of carrier, the battery can’t hold the charge and the reception isn’t very… Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as «the brig». And yet you haven’t said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you? And I’m his friend Jesus. Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? …To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? …To shreds, you say. Tell her you just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. I found what I need. And it’s not friends, it’s things. For example, if you killed your grandfather, you’d cease to exist! I feel like I was mauled by Jesus.