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Nov 06
Love0

I have to go and buy soundtrack

By Something 3 Comments

I saw you with those two «ladies of the evening» at Elzars. Explain that. I found what I need. And it’s not friends, it’s things. Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? …To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? …To shreds, you say. You wouldn’t. Ask anyway! You guys realize you live in a sewer, right? I don’t want to be rescued. Bender, this is Fry’s decision… and he made it wrong. So it’s time for us to interfere in his life.

There’s a report

Oh, I don’t have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain. We’ll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we’ll go home.

Nov 02
Love0

Finding a needle in a haystack

By Something 2 Comments

Only you could make those words cute. God created pudding, and then he rested. Only you could make those words cute. You look…perfect. I’m doing mental jumping jacks. Only you could make those words cute. Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others. I’m real proud of you for coming, bro. I know you hate funerals.

I will destroy you

I’m a sociopath; there’s not much he can do for me. Under normal circumstances, I’d take that as a compliment. I’ve lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see. Under normal circumstances, I’d take that as a compliment. I’m generally confused most of the time. Tell him time is of the essence. I think he’s got a crush on you, Dex! Makes me a … scientist. Finding a needle in a haystack isn’t hard when every straw is computerized. I’m Dexter, and I’m not sure what I am. You’re a killer. I catch killers. This man is a knight in shining armor.

May 18
Love0

Wow, you got that off the Internet?

By Something 2 Comments

Oh sure!

For the last time, I don’t like lilacs! Your ‘first’ wife was the one who liked lilacs! There’s no part of that sentence I didn’t like! I’ve got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth.

table2

Five hours?

Yeah, and if you were the pope they’d be all, «Straighten your pope hat.» And «Put on your good vestments.» Son, as your lawyer, I declare y’all are in a 12-piece bucket o’ trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin’ up that ol’ mess you caused. I saw you with those two «ladies of the evening» at Elzars. Explain that. No! Don’t jump! Say it in Russian! Fatal. I was having the most wonderful dream. Except you were there, and you were there, and you were there!

I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself. In your time, yes, but nowadays shut up! Besides, these are adult stemcells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stemcells.

Wow, you got that off the Internet? In my day, the Internet was only used to download pornography. OK, if everyone’s finished being stupid. Alright, let’s mafia things up a bit. Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew.

Mar 01
Love0

I feel like a jigsaw

By Something 2 Comments

dchair1

I’m really more an apartment person. Finding a needle in a haystack isn’t hard when every straw is computerized. You all right, Dexter? I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I feel like a jigsaw puzzle missing a piece. And I’m not even sure what the picture should be. I feel like a jigsaw puzzle missing a piece. And I’m not even sure what the picture should be. Pretend. You pretend the feelings are there, for the world, for the people around you. Who knows? Maybe one day they will be.

dchair3I’m really more an apartment person. Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others. I love Halloween. The one time of year when everyone wears a mask … not just me. I’ve lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see. Cops, another community I’m not part of. Like a sloth. I can do that. Under normal circumstances, I’d take that as a compliment. Makes me a … scientist. I’m real proud of you for coming, bro. I know you hate funerals.

I’m thinking two circus clowns dancing. You? I’m really more an apartment person. Pretend. You pretend the feelings are there, for the world, for the people around you. Who knows? Maybe one day they will be. He taught me a code. To survive. I think he’s got a crush on you, Dex! I’ve lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see. Tonight’s the night. And it’s going to happen again and again. It has to happen.