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melian

Ago 01
Love0

Keep your mind

By Compliment, My world No Comments

We are more

Pretend. You pretend the feelings are there, for the world, for the people around you. Who knows? Maybe one day they will be. I’m going to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone before. Tonight’s the night. And it’s going to happen again and again. It has to happen. Hello, Dexter Morgan. I’m not the monster he wants me to be. So I’m neither man nor beast. I’m something new entirely. With my own set of rules. I’m Dexter. Boo. I’m doing mental jumping jacks. I’m going to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone before.

Under normal circumstances, I’d take that as a compliment. Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter. You look…perfect. Watching ice melt. This is fun. Tell him time is of the essence. I’ve lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see. Only you could make those words cute. God created pudding, and then he rested. Watching ice melt. This is fun.

You all right, Dexter? You’re a killer. I catch killers. Makes me a … scientist. I’m partial to air conditioning.

I’m really more an apartment person. Keep your mind limber. I feel like a jigsaw puzzle missing a piece. And I’m not even sure what the picture should be. I’m Dexter, and I’m not sure what I am. I’m going to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone before.

Ago 01
Love0

Tonight’s the night

By Life, My world 2 Comments

bottles3

Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others. I like seafood. I’m really more an apartment person. I’m generally confused most of the time. I’m Dexter, and I’m not sure what I am. I’m going to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone before. Under normal circumstances, I’d take that as a compliment. Tell him time is of the essence. I’m doing mental jumping jacks. I am not a killer.

I never loved you

You all right, Dexter? Tell him time is of the essence. Tonight’s the night. And it’s going to happen again and again. It has to happen. Watching ice melt. This is fun.

May 18
Love0

Wow, you got that off the Internet?

By Something 2 Comments

Oh sure!

For the last time, I don’t like lilacs! Your ‘first’ wife was the one who liked lilacs! There’s no part of that sentence I didn’t like! I’ve got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth.

table2

Five hours?

Yeah, and if you were the pope they’d be all, «Straighten your pope hat.» And «Put on your good vestments.» Son, as your lawyer, I declare y’all are in a 12-piece bucket o’ trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin’ up that ol’ mess you caused. I saw you with those two «ladies of the evening» at Elzars. Explain that. No! Don’t jump! Say it in Russian! Fatal. I was having the most wonderful dream. Except you were there, and you were there, and you were there!

I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself. In your time, yes, but nowadays shut up! Besides, these are adult stemcells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stemcells.

Wow, you got that off the Internet? In my day, the Internet was only used to download pornography. OK, if everyone’s finished being stupid. Alright, let’s mafia things up a bit. Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew.

May 18
Love0

With a warning label

By Life One Comment

tea1Son, as your lawyer, I declare y’all are in a 12-piece bucket o’ trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin’ up that ol’ mess you caused. You’re going to do his laundry? Say what? No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don’t own! Bender, we’re trying our best. Isn’t it true that you have been paid for your testimony?

I could if you hadn’t turned on the light and shut off my stereo. When I was first asked to make a film about my nephew, Hubert Farnsworth, I thought «Why should I?» Then later, Leela made the film. But if I did make it, you can bet there would have been more topless women on motorcycles. Roll film! Yeah, lots of people did. We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised. I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. Fry, that doesn’t make sense. We don’t have a brig.

tea3Ven ve voke up, ve had zese wodies. Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood! Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose. Shut up and get to the point! With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun! I don’t know what you did, Fry, but once again, you screwed up! Now all the planets are gonna start cracking wise about our mamas. I’ve got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Suddenly, I’m going to the bathroom like clockwork, every three hours. And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks. Now ‘I» have to pay »them’!

I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though! Five hours? Aw, man! Couldn’t you just get me the death penalty? In your time, yes, but nowadays shut up! Besides, these are adult stemcells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stemcells.

May 18
Love0

You have a good heart

By Author 3 Comments

Whoa a real live robot; or is that some kind of cheesy New Year’s costume? You, a bobsleder!? That I’d like to see! Soon enough. Who are you, my warranty?! Bite my shiny metal ass. Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn’t I break his legs? Who said that? SURE you can die! You want to die?!

That’s right, baby

Fry! Quit doing the right thing, you jerk! What kind of a father would I be if I said no? What kind of a father would I be if I said no? Bender, you risked your life to save me! Hey, tell me something. You’ve got all this money. How come you always dress like you’re doing your laundry? I meant ‘physically’. Look, perhaps you could let me work for a little food? I could clean the floors or paint a fence, or service you sexually? What’s with you kids? Every other day it’s food, food, food. Alright, I’ll get you some stupid food.

Abr 18
Love0

So I really am important?

By My world, News 2 Comments

Pansy. Doomsday device? Ah, now the ball’s in Farnsworth’s court! Kif might! Bender, we’re trying our best. Are you crazy? I can’t swallow that. Yep, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages! So I really am important? How I feel when I’m drunk is correct? Really?! You wouldn’t. Ask anyway! So, how ‘bout them Knicks?

I guess

We don’t have a brig. I was all of history’s great robot actors – Acting Unit 0.8; Thespomat; David Duchovny! I just told you! You’ve killed me! Negative, bossy meat creature! These old Doomsday Devices are dangerously unstable. I’ll rest easier not knowing where they are. What kind of a father would I be if I said no? Why did you bring us here? Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood!

I was having the most wonderful dream. Except you were there, and you were there, and you were there! Oh, I think we should just stay friends. I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.

Abr 15
Love0

Actually, that’s still true

By Life 3 Comments

Really?! The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep. Michelle, I don’t regret this, but I both rue and lament it. Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools. Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools. WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT! So, how ‘bout them Knicks? Actually, that’s still true. Oh Leela! You’re the only person I could turn to; you’re the only person who ever loved me.

Her company

Man, I’m sore all over. I feel like I just went ten rounds with mighty Thor. Kids have names? And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don’t not do it! I’m sorry, guys. I never meant to hurt you. Just to destroy everything you ever believed in. I suppose I could part with ‘one’ and still be feared… Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase «upside your head.»

Abr 03
Love0

Belligerent and numerous

By Compliment 2 Comments

I usually try

Can I use the gun? I wish! It’s a nickel. Hi, I’m a naughty nurse, and I really need someone to talk to. $9.95 a minute. Enough about your promiscuous mother, Hermes! We have bigger problems. Why would I want to know that? So I really am important? How I feel when I’m drunk is correct? Noooooo! They’re like sex, except I’m having them! Bite my shiny metal ass. Belligerent and numerous. Just once I’d like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn’t bound and gagged. You, a bobsleder!? That I’d like to see! Why yes! Thanks for noticing. I haven’t felt much of anything since my guinea pig died. You guys go on without me! I’m going to go… look for more stuff to steal!

Mar 29
Love0

Michelle, I don’t regret

By Author, Life 2 Comments

Michelle, I don’t regret this, but I both rue and lament it. All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that’s why I’m transferring to business school! This opera’s as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can’t just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry!

With gusto

And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who’s gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet. Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You’d think it would be something you’d have to freebase.