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Kif, I have mated with a woman. Inform the men. Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated poopers. Hello, little man. I will destroy you! OK, this has gotta stop. I’m going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can.
Hello, little man
Oh yeah, good luck with that. No, just a regular mistake. I love you, buddy! Say what? You wouldn’t. Ask anyway! It’s just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you?
Ah, the ‘Breakfast Club’ soundtrack! I can’t wait til I’m old enough to feel ways about stuff! Okay, I like a challenge. Yeah, lots of people did. Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! I saw you with those two «ladies of the evening» at Elzars. Explain that. I found what I need. And it’s not friends, it’s things. Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? …To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? …To shreds, you say.
You wouldn’t. Ask anyway! You guys realize you live in a sewer, right? I don’t want to be rescued. Bender, this is Fry’s decision… and he made it wrong. So it’s time for us to interfere in his life.
I saw you with those two «ladies of the evening» at Elzars. Explain that. I found what I need. And it’s not friends, it’s things. Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? …To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? …To shreds, you say. You wouldn’t. Ask anyway! You guys realize you live in a sewer, right? I don’t want to be rescued. Bender, this is Fry’s decision… and he made it wrong. So it’s time for us to interfere in his life.
There’s a report
Oh, I don’t have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain. We’ll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we’ll go home.
Only you could make those words cute. God created pudding, and then he rested. Only you could make those words cute. You look…perfect. I’m doing mental jumping jacks. Only you could make those words cute. Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others. I’m real proud of you for coming, bro. I know you hate funerals.
I will destroy you
I’m a sociopath; there’s not much he can do for me. Under normal circumstances, I’d take that as a compliment. I’ve lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see. Under normal circumstances, I’d take that as a compliment. I’m generally confused most of the time. Tell him time is of the essence. I think he’s got a crush on you, Dex! Makes me a … scientist. Finding a needle in a haystack isn’t hard when every straw is computerized. I’m Dexter, and I’m not sure what I am. You’re a killer. I catch killers. This man is a knight in shining armor.
I love you, buddy
And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who’s gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet. File not found. Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?
Now, now. Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything. It may comfort you to know that Fry’s death took only fifteen seconds, yet the pain was so intense, that it felt to him like fifteen years. And it goes without saying, it caused him to empty his bowels. Ugh, it’s filthy! Why not create a National Endowment for Strip Clubs while we’re at it? You are the last hope of the universe. Enough about your promiscuous mother, Hermes! We have bigger problems. Now what?
Is that a cooking show?
Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You’d think it would be something you’d have to freebase. You guys go on without me! I’m going to go… look for more stuff to steal! I’m Santa Claus!
I’m partial to air conditioning. I love Halloween. The one time of year when everyone wears a mask … not just me. Watching ice melt. This is fun. I’m really more an apartment person. Makes me a … scientist. Pretend. You pretend the feelings are there, for the world, for the people around you. Who knows? Maybe one day they will be. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister.
Good news
I’m really more an apartment person. You’re a killer. I catch killers. I’m not the monster he wants me to be. So I’m neither man nor beast. I’m something new entirely. With my own set of rules. I’m Dexter. Boo. Tonight’s the night. And it’s going to happen again and again. It has to happen. I’m really more an apartment person. I’m partial to air conditioning. I’m Dexter, and I’m not sure what I am. I’m generally confused most of the time.
Why did you bring us here? This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me! I’m just glad my fat, ugly mama isn’t alive to see this day. I had more, but you go ahead. Goodbye, friends. I never thought I’d die like this. But I always really hoped. Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You’d think it would be something you’d have to freebase. You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from intestinal parasites? You’ll have all the Slurm you can drink when you’re partying with Slurms McKenzie!
OK, this has gotta stop. I’m going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can. Bite my shiny metal ass. You know, I was God once. I just told you! You’ve killed me! No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don’t own! Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools. Hey, tell me something. You’ve got all this money. How come you always dress like you’re doing your laundry? I suppose I could part with ‘one’ and still be feared…
I’m sorry, guys
Son, as your lawyer, I declare y’all are in a 12-piece bucket o’ trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin’ up that ol’ mess you caused. You’re going to do his laundry?
Dissect its brain!
That’s right, baby. I ain’t your loverboy Flexo, the guy you love so much. You even love anyone pretending to be him! Doomsday device? Ah, now the ball’s in Farnsworth’s court! You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work, but they don’t pay you or let you go. I don’t want to be rescued. Who am I making this out to? OK, if everyone’s finished being stupid. One hundred dollars.
For the last time, I don’t like lilacs! Your ‘first’ wife was the one who liked lilacs! And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don’t not do it! Five hours? Aw, man! Couldn’t you just get me the death penalty? I’m a thing. Bender, we’re trying our best. Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase «upside your head.»
You can crush me but you can’t crush my spirit! Shut up and take my money! No, just a regular mistake. Well, let’s just dump it in the sewer and say we delivered it. Bender, we’re trying our best.
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