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mayo 2016

Wow, you got that off the Internet?

By Something 2 Comments

Oh sure!

For the last time, I don’t like lilacs! Your ‘first’ wife was the one who liked lilacs! There’s no part of that sentence I didn’t like! I’ve got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth.

table2

Five hours?

Yeah, and if you were the pope they’d be all, «Straighten your pope hat.» And «Put on your good vestments.» Son, as your lawyer, I declare y’all are in a 12-piece bucket o’ trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin’ up that ol’ mess you caused. I saw you with those two «ladies of the evening» at Elzars. Explain that. No! Don’t jump! Say it in Russian! Fatal. I was having the most wonderful dream. Except you were there, and you were there, and you were there!

I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself. In your time, yes, but nowadays shut up! Besides, these are adult stemcells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stemcells.

Wow, you got that off the Internet? In my day, the Internet was only used to download pornography. OK, if everyone’s finished being stupid. Alright, let’s mafia things up a bit. Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew.

With a warning label

By Life One Comment

tea1Son, as your lawyer, I declare y’all are in a 12-piece bucket o’ trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin’ up that ol’ mess you caused. You’re going to do his laundry? Say what? No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don’t own! Bender, we’re trying our best. Isn’t it true that you have been paid for your testimony?

I could if you hadn’t turned on the light and shut off my stereo. When I was first asked to make a film about my nephew, Hubert Farnsworth, I thought «Why should I?» Then later, Leela made the film. But if I did make it, you can bet there would have been more topless women on motorcycles. Roll film! Yeah, lots of people did. We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised. I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. Fry, that doesn’t make sense. We don’t have a brig.

tea3Ven ve voke up, ve had zese wodies. Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood! Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose. Shut up and get to the point! With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun! I don’t know what you did, Fry, but once again, you screwed up! Now all the planets are gonna start cracking wise about our mamas. I’ve got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Suddenly, I’m going to the bathroom like clockwork, every three hours. And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks. Now ‘I» have to pay »them’!

I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though! Five hours? Aw, man! Couldn’t you just get me the death penalty? In your time, yes, but nowadays shut up! Besides, these are adult stemcells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stemcells.

You have a good heart

By Author 3 Comments

Whoa a real live robot; or is that some kind of cheesy New Year’s costume? You, a bobsleder!? That I’d like to see! Soon enough. Who are you, my warranty?! Bite my shiny metal ass. Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn’t I break his legs? Who said that? SURE you can die! You want to die?!

That’s right, baby

Fry! Quit doing the right thing, you jerk! What kind of a father would I be if I said no? What kind of a father would I be if I said no? Bender, you risked your life to save me! Hey, tell me something. You’ve got all this money. How come you always dress like you’re doing your laundry? I meant ‘physically’. Look, perhaps you could let me work for a little food? I could clean the floors or paint a fence, or service you sexually? What’s with you kids? Every other day it’s food, food, food. Alright, I’ll get you some stupid food.